DREAMER

Monsters and ghosts are real, they don’t lie under your bed, they live inside us, inside our mind, and sometimes they win. Midnight thought always scare me, it makes me feel silly and foolish. When you can’t sleep and your mind have a tons of random thought, your flashback memories or your wishes. But the hardest is flashback memories. Your family (all mistakes and ‘what-should-have-to-be) Your friends (losing them) Your ex (what you did to them and what they did to you) Even yourself (hurt yourself and cannot forgive) Happy memories could make you cry cause you can’t take it back, cause the people was gone, cause you can’t fix anything, cause its better like that. Sad-Hurt memories that make you hard to breath, even tears can’t makes anything better, cause the scars always be scars and even time cant heal that. And the worst of the worst is… you can’t forgive yourself cause let them happened. You can’t forgive yourself cause you do nothing when it happens that time....

I know you say you know me, know me well But these days I don’t even know myself Yeah, so you can cut me up and kiss me harder You can be the pill to ease the pain Cause I know I’m addicted to your drama Baby, here we go again… Whoah, you stress me out, you kill me You drag me down, you fuck me up We’re on the ground, we’re screaming I don’t know how to make it stop I love it, I hate it, and I can’t take it But I keep on coming back to you… Itu sekilas lirik lagu yang pernah gue update di sosial media. Makna yang gue tangkep dari lagu itu adalah, lo dipermainkan sama orang yang pernah hadir di kehidupan lo. Gue shock ternyata update lirik itu terlihat seperti… kangen mantan. Orang pertama bilang, “ you looks stupid with that caption ” Orang kedua bilang, “ cie kangen mantan ya ” Padahal…. Bukan kangen mantan, tapi kangen diri gue sendiri sebelum terkontaminasi sang mantan. I always say “help me for being monster he made me” , “Kok kayanya makin kesin ...